Sunday, October 12

So the results on Friday at the weigh-in were not good. I gained so now i'm at 407. It was a one-pound gain so i'm not freaking out. I am glad I caught it on time. I am going to get back on track this week. I expect to have a perfect Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I am going to stick just to the Jenny Craig menu. When I follow it perfectly I always have a drop. Besides sticking to the plan. I am going to exercise everyday. I doggysit for my friend and she said that I could take her dog for a walk so that's what I'm going to do. I am going to take Jaxson for a walk in the park. I am going to charge my ipod so that I can listen to music. I'm going to drink at least 8 glasses of water. I am going to see what doing all these things does for my body. I am also going to work on my sleep not napping during the day so I can fall asleep at night. Have a great week everybody!

21 Days Left

With less than 21 days left for my birthday. The clock is ticking and i'm running out of time to lose the 10 lbs I want to lose by my bday. That is the birthday gift I am giving myself this year. Celebrating that i'm not in the fourest something I haven't been able to do for the past 3 years. So what steps am I taking to ensure that I reach my goal? Well number 1 i'm starting to eat breakfast in the mornings. It's a pain to get up early but I do it just so that I can eat something. Starving all day and coming home at 2pm made it so difficult to not be starving that I wanted to eat everything in sight so I would binge. Eating two meals in one breakfast and lunch and some days even dinner as one whole giant meal. I had been doing that over the years so much. The second thing to ensure that I reach this goal is sleep. I wasn't getting any sleep at night which made me exhausted and I had no energy to want to go and exercise. So then I would come home exhausted from school and fall asleep. But only before having 2 huge meals at once. I have been keeping myself up all day so that by the time night comes i'm dead tired. I have managed to get in a good solid 5 hours before school. The third thing is starting to incorporate more activity into my daily life. I have struggled with this last one. I am not exercising at all. The only exercise I get is walking from the parking lot to the school and back. I am proud of the fact that I still have not taken the elevator I instead climb the stairs. So these are the things that need improvement. I'm sure that once I have all of these things down solid I will see the pounds come off. Also I have to make sure to drink lots of water which is a huge struggle for me. And sticking to just my Jenny Craig food and nothing else. I like the food from Jenny but sometimes my body craves fast-food. I think its more on those days that i'm super-stressed out or depressed. Tommorow is my weigh-in at Jenny let's hope it's a good one since last time I went up from 402 to 406. Oh yeah and as for the results of the biopsy they were inconclusive which means that I had to have a second biopsy performed that same day so I should be getting the results in a few weeks. I will keep the people following my blog posted.

October 1

Gosh! I can't believe it's been over two weeks since I last posted a blog. I said I was going to blog everyday, but I have just been too exhausted. School is extremely stressful and I had 3 papers due this week. I have been doing a lot of emotional eating. I have not been to Jenny Craig in a while so I have no clue where I stand right now. It's less than 30 days until my birthday and I really wanted to lose 20 lbs by then, but I guess any weight loss right now is an added bonus. I want to lose 10 lbs by my birthday. That's gives me a good solid 4 weeks to work on that goal. I am going to get back on track this friday since I will have no excuses. My dad was having some financial problems so I couldn't afford the Jenny Craig food and without it I admit i'm pretty lost. I have even considered looking for a part-time job so that I can afford to buy the food on my own. I have to go in tommorow morning to get the results of the biopsy I had a few weeks ago. I have been losing sleep over this. I hope that everything turns out ok. Well it's late and I should go to bed. But i'm too anxious to sleep. I guess I will just watch movies until the sun comes up. I will be waiting all day in the waiting area so I will just get some sleep there.

9-11 Update

Today is 9-11 a date that will go down in history. The day the towers came down. I remember waking up that morning and turning on the tv ( I do that in the morning so I can see what time it is so I wont be late for school). I saw the plane crash into one building. I thought can this be real. I headed off to school not knowing what was going on. I turned on the radio to hear that the Sears tower might be a target that's when I knew something was wrong and I headed back home. My brother was downstairs with my dad. I was scared I didnt' know what was happening. It still scares me sometimes that it might happen again. So it was hard going into the hospital this morning and knowing I was there for a check up. It is a number that causes panic. I wanted the doctor to tell me I was ok and I had no tumors but she didn't she said I have to do a biopsy instead. I went numb. But I am not going to let this affect me I wont give it power. I know God is in control. So I have to go back in 3 weeks for the results. I know God will get me through this. As far as my weight-loss i'm 402 and i'm down 5 lbs since last week when I was 407. I am going to try to lose 3 lbs so I can get out of the fourest for good. I am excited about this week I will continue to walk as much as possible and work on getting sleep. I will not quit!

Stress!

Stress, stress, and more stress... Omg stress! lol I really need to get a handle on my stress. People are stressing me out. School is stressing me out. I can not get a grip on how to manage my stress and its messing me up physically and mentally. I can't sleep, i'm eating uncontrollably. My diabetes has gone out of control. If I keep going on like this. I probably will have some kind of breakdown, nervous and or otherwise. I am working on creating balance in my life, but it's not going to be easy to schedule my life especially when I have always been such a free spirit, but it has to be done or else I don't think I will be able to make it 'till Christmas i'm getting sever chest pains and palpitations and anxiety attacks about a lot of things. I think this is God's way of telling me to slow down and to get rid of the things that are causing me stress like people I don't really need in my life and to put myself first before others. I thank God for showing me what I need to do. God says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. But I need to love myself first before I can love my neighbor. God take the stress away please. Amen.

End of Week Two of School

So I managed to survive two weeks of school so far. Which is incredible. I had a very bad weekend. On Saturday I was extremely depressed. I even contemplated dropping out of school. Convincing myself that I wasn't ready. I was stressing out about a paper I had due Monday. I couldn't concentrate at all. But thank God for Nadia my angel. She is the one who got me through this. I don't know what I would have done if she wasn't here to talk me through this. I get easily overwhelmed but she has taught me to take things one step at a time. My eating has been horrible I wouldn't be surprised if I gained another 10 lbs this week. The scale read 407. Which means i'm still down 21 lbs. Since I started at 428 the day I started Jenny back in March. Let's hope I can start new this school week. I plan on getting back on track on Monday. So here are the goals for this week...

• Take water to school
• Take stairs avoid temptation to take elevator
• Eat breakfast
• Sleep early
• Wake up early
• Spend time with God
• Do my homework
• Exercise
• Seek counseling for depression
• Take all meds and prescriptions
• Do something fun

End of First Week of School

So the end of the first week of school is over. I would have blogged on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday but I was just too tired. So to recap the first week went fine. I actually managed to survive it. I have been on top of my homework and studying. I haven't been slacking off. Having that extra day which is friday to just relax has helped me not to go crazy with all the work I have to do with my classes. So right now i'm taking English Composition, Social Science, and Honors Humanities. I think this is a good load of classes to handle. Next semester I plan on taking the 4 classes.

I decided to back to Jenny Craig, I was getting lazy and I felt like I was gaining a ton of weight. I felt fat. So I called the centre and my consultant wasn't in until friday. I decided since it was thursday and I just came home from school I would just go in anyway. I am so glad that I did because I got the best surprise ever. My first consultant Evy came back and she was down 150 lbs. I met Evy about 2 years ago when I started going to Jenny for the first time ever. She was around 300 lbs and now she is down to 150. She looks great. So she is going to help me lose this weight. I think all the pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. I was afraid of the damage I had done and I knew that my weigh-in was going to suck. But to my surprise I was actually only 402 which means i'm 3 lbs away from getting out of the fourest. This time I am not going back. So this week i'm working on getting into the 300's. So here are my goals for this week:

MY MOTIVATION

• Lose 20 lbs by my birthday

THIS WEEKS PLAN

• Eat Jenny Food ONLY!!!!
• Stick to eating 2300 calories each day

ACTIVITY PLAN

• Go to the gym everyday workout for 30 minutes minimum
• Take the stairs at school resist the temptation to use the elevator

REWARD

• My reward will either be a pedicure or buying a new top