Sad Saturday

Woke up at 5pm today. That's usually what I do on saturdays I sleep in. I went to bed pretty late last night like around 6am. I have all of this anxiety about school as well as all the personal problems I'm having with my online friends. Commiting virtual suicide seemed the best solution a few days ago, but now I realize that there are some great people that I miss. I know that I am missed. But I know that others are glad that i'm gone. It's hard for people to deal with me especially when i'm so unstable. I'm happy one minute and the next i'm emo as can be. The comments that people made to me were extremely hurtful such as attention whore and drama queen. I don't think I am. Because I do have my good days when i'm happy. But lately it just seems I have more bad days than good ones. I have learned that I can't be around certain people when i'm upset or sad or angry. Those people just don't know how to help me. But those are the people I ran to for confort the people who I thought were my friends and who would undertstand that I needed someone to talk to. Someone to vent with. I don't know why I am the way I am. I can't just snap out of it. I am learning that people don't want to be around me when i'm like this and that perhaps the best way to deal with the situation is to just be by myself. That way no one gets hurt. I don't hurt people and people don't hurt me. Hurting people is an inevitable part of life it just happens. I don't do it on purpose, but I know there is a saying that you always hurt the ones you love... and that saying is so true.