First Day of School

So I managed to survive my first day of school. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. It was actually pretty nice. Once I get over the fact that i'm fat life sort of becomes more simple. I had of lot of obstacles and challenges to overcome. Number one the walking. The distance from the parking lot to the actual school is approximately I don't know. 2 blocks I think? Again i'm guestimating these things. I'm actually going to put on my pedometer so I can keep track of how many steps it is from the parking lot to the school. And of course by the time I got there the parking lot was full so I had to park all the way almost to the back of the lot. Then once I finally get to the school the challenge begins. There are two sets of stairs I have to climb up to actually get into the school. There is the elevator but I would hate myself if I took it. It's so funny how God prepared me in China for this. At the great wall I had two options to take the lift or to climb up those 1,000 steps I think all of that was in preparation for this moment. So this time I decided even if I had to do it slow I wouldn't run up the steps and be gasping for air once I reached the top that would have been completely embarassing even though I have done it in the past. The next challenge was sitting in the desks surprisingly I fit in them. I was like wow small desks but I actually can sit in one. But not very comfortably since the desk area is so small and my tummy does hang over the top a little bit. There was a table and a chair and I remembered what Nadia had told me that she would grab the table and chair and sit there for school. I asked the professor if it would be ok if I sat there since the desk wasn't very comfortable and he said it was ok as long as there wasn't anyone with special needs who needed it more than I did. ie, a person in a wheelchair or someone larger than me. Yes the students looked at me but I think they understood the situation and I didn't feel embarrassed. I'm there to learn and so are they. Walking down the halls I got a vision of my future how one day I would actually be walking these halls at a smaller size. I plan to be there for 2 years to get my associates and transfer out to a 4 year college and hopefully by then I will be down a significant amount of weight. Then I had to climb more stairs all the way up to the 3rd floor I once again took my time. There's no need for me to hurry. I got to my class only to be told to drop out of the course because i'm already fluent is spanish. So then I had to go all the way downstairs to the basement the first floor I mean and drop the class and add another one. Because the new spanish course conflicts with my schedule there was nothing they can do about it and to tell that to the professor. He didn't even let me explain that although I do speak the language my reading and writing skills are poor or limited. So by the time I finished downstairs I missed the whole class. Sighs by this time i'm worried I have to rush home to take my dad to the doctor. On the way home I was starving. I had already planned before that I would stop by mcdonalds to order a chicken salad. I was only able to eat the jenny craig small pancakes and veggie sausage for breakfast since I was running late calling the clinic to make an appointment for my dad and also I was chatting with Marty from Youtube but it was worth it. The night before school sucked I only managed to sleep 2 hours and I think it's because of the coffee I drank at the church meeting it kept me awake all nite. Damn caffeine. So on the way home from school I decided that I was too stressed out and I wanted some comfort food. I wanted cheesesticks and cheesefries from white castle instead of the chicken salad at mcdonalds but I started feeling guilty and I'm like what do I do. I just think I had a craving for marinara sauce. I could guzzle it by the gallons. So I actually went to subway and ate a whole footlong meatball sub. I was starving. I came home and scarfed it all down. I didnt' even have time to enjoy it. I had to eat it fast it was time to take my dad to the clinic. So I took him to the doctor and afterwards we went to Popeyes because he wanted chicken. I was proud of my self for the choices I made there. I just bought a small mashed potatoe and at one drumstick. I came home and ate that and a jenny craig burrito. So as far as eating I did bad but I could have done more damage at Popeyes I wanted to order shrimp and a chicken sandwhich which is what I usually get. I knew this day would be stressful for me and that professor didn't make it any easier. So tonite I plan to get plenty of rest so I can be good for tommorow. I also sucked with my water intake. I didn't take any water to school so I didn't drink any. Those are the things I am going to be working on tommorow and throughout this first week of school. My consultant from Jenny Craig called Danielle and she was wondering why I haven't been in there. So I had to explain that right now financially it's not possible and that also school and my dad being sick and I was sick too. So there are all these things going on in my life right now. I know I have been gaining so much weight. I'm afraid to step on the scale. Daniel is afraid after all my hard work i'm going to just mess it all up and she's right that's what i'm afraid too. So this week I plan on going back on friday and i'm just going to pay with the debit card for my food. I need to get back on track. So that's it. First day of school full of challenges physical, emotional, mental, and how did I deal with it all? By stressing out and running to food. NOT GOOD! I did spend some time with God last night and this morning on my way over to school. I think that's what helped to keep me focus and not let it all fall apart for me. God was like keep it together don't worry i'm here. And he was he's with me here and in China. Whereever I go. Thank you God for carrying me today up the stairs and giving me the strenght to not break down. I love you.