So, I jumped on the scale today at the doctors office. 443 it read. I was so upset. I was 435 just a few weeks ago. What happened? I will definately not reach my goal of 425 lbs by my birthday. My birthday is in less than two weeks. I will be lucky if i'm 440 on that day. Sighs... i'm so frustrated with everything and on top of that my diabetes is out of control. I don't know what to do anymore. I am borderline depressed. I am on the edge and any little push will do. Allen's family and my brother don't help the situation and neither does the situation with my roomates. I feel like running away from everything and going to Mexico, but that wont solve anything. I feel like maybe the solution is to run away and join a convent or something. I wish I could go away to a resort on the beach for a week or even a month just to calm my nerves, but I will still come back to this. All I know is that I need help. I can't do everything by MYSELF. I can't cook and clean and do laundry and groceries, by MYSELF. I feel alone and abandoned. What can I do, but cry and wallow in my self-pity because nobody cares. NOBODY. Only God cares! He is the only one who keeps me going in times of frustration and heart-ache. I am not Alone. God is with me.
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